Fly, Fly, Lorrainekid!

Lately I have been too lazy to write. Yes, I mean it. The big gaps here on my blog are just one proof. What suffers more are my creative writing aspirations. I have always felt that I have good stories inside my brain, just waiting to be told and explored; now, however, I'm not so sure. Hey, that's the first time I ever really admitted that.

Heck, it's not been all roses for me these days. I don't mean to say I'm living with some serious problems but I'm not exactly cruising along so smoothly. I would love to just be taken away to my own world again one time; where the characters in my head live their own problems and affairs and I am there because I wanna be there. I must admit there are too many distractions in my present life that I cannot somehow find that quiet nook in my head. Yup, there are too many distractions and desires. Maybe my world is expanding.

But you know what? Haha...maybe this is exactly what I need to be better. I have always told myself that to be a better story writer, you have to have something to tell about life yourself. If you know more about life, if you are better exposed to people, if you have been hurt, embarrassed, overjoyed and then depressed for a time, then maybe you will become a better person and consequently, your stories become more real, more objective, more about life.

I would like to be a better, more inspired and motivated writer. I have to fight, or maybe I should not fight but yield in to my distractions and find out where they would lead me, and then who knows? Perhaps I just need to have a change; I just need something new. I know in my heart that the want and need to write and succeed is there, but there is something more, and as I live through everyday, I know I'll get closer to finding out what that is.

I wanna have fun as I go through life. I wanna smile and laugh genuinely as much as possible. Then, I will write. I need my zest redeemed and my whole person rejuvenated. Telling all these on my blog is my first step. I don't need to over criticize myself or punish myself for not writing. Somehow, my writing conscience understands. This I know. My whole person knows. Life is opening itself up to me and I know, I'm all getting ready to grab its balloon strings and fly.

Hey, hey people, I'm still a kid. I'm now a kid who's ready to explore the world and throw my bad fears to the winds. I rely on faith and the trust that wherever I go Father God is with me. I have someone to share my adventure with, always!

A happy life everyone!

Fun and Inspiration

Hello! I'm posting a really inspirational kind of like a poem which I found over the internet. I find it motivating and appropriate for everyday. I hope you do too.

G o d S a y s:

You say: "It's impossible."

God says: All things are possible. (Luke 18:27)

You say: "I'm too tired."

God says: I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me."

God says: I love you. (John 3:16 & John 13:34)

You say: "I can't go on."

God says: My grace is sufficient. (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out."

God says: I will direct your steps. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: "I can't do it."

God says: You can do all things. (Philippians 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able."

God says: I am able. (II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: "It's not worth it."

God says: It will be worth it. (Roman 8:28)

You say: "I can't forgive myself."

God says: I FORGIVE YOU. (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: "I can't manage."

God says: I will supply all your needs. (Philippians 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid."

God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear. (II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated."

You say: "I don't have enough faith."

God says: I've given everyone a measure of faith. (Romans 12:3)

You say: "I'm not smart enough."

God says: I give you wisdom. (I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: "I feel all alone."

God says: I will never leave you or forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5)

BTW, US Open Men's finals was delayed for tomorrow. Best of luck for Novak and Rafa. I'm wishing for a 5 set thriller match!

How I'm Handling Life's Rocky Bump

Hello everyone! You know the feeling when some days some things just go kind of bad? Recently, I had an embarrassing experience that I would rather not go into as much details here but it involves a figure of authority shouting at me and embarrassing me for a mistake I made. During the actual course of that tensed situation, I actually tried to reason myself out. You see, I know what is being demanded by that person but I was not able to provide it instantly because of some qualms I have of its availability. I was able to give what was needed later but that person was already in a bad, bitchy mood. Well, the end of it was that she (the person) shouted at me telling me that I probably do not know what she was asking for in the first place. She made me feel really bad in front of all these other people of authority. I felt so bad and angry later on that whenever I think of it I still feel terrible.

Haaayyy, I guess stuff like this happens to everyone. I mean, it's hard to be criticized but that is something you've got to handle at times, being embarrassed and shouted at however, is not something a person should be subjected in, no matter who the person of authority is. Now, I just tell myself that I will improve and try to do better so that people will not find things to complain or make fun of about my work.

You know what? Posting this incident about that person actually makes me feel better. I mean well, maybe she had a reason to be angry but she did went overboard about her shouting and making comments about me especially since I later provided her with what she needed. She even told other people that I was answering her back when the truth was she was the one who went overboard and embarrassed me in front of others!

I must admit I feel angry towards her, but I am trying to let go. I mean I am human and I am not perfect and I do make mistakes from time to time. The sad part is, not everyone is helpful to you in times when you need some help and understanding.

Have you ever had a similar situation? Well, if you're like me, then you may want to read about some of these few pointers (some I have read also) that I remind myself.

My Reminders on developing a good self- esteem:

1. I am a person with the right to be respected like everyone else.
2. When others make fun of me, I must not encourage them by making jokes about myself in return.
3. I am a person and I do make mistakes from time to time, I have to be patient and be good and understanding to my own self.
4. Most of the time when others are rude, it's because they have a tendency to be rude, so I must not take them personally.
5. I am an intelligent being. Others may criticize me for not knowing what they know, but hey, they are many things I know which they, in return do not know.
6. NO ONE should boast of his or her capabilities because all of it are just lent to people by its true owner: GOD.
7. I must exert myself vigorously in doing good things for GOD and not to please others and gain praise.
8. I am a talented and gifted person and no matter what other people say or think of me, God loves me and sees me beautifully.
9. Other people make mistakes too and I must be good to them also.
10. When I want others to take me seriously, I must speak calmly and respectfully.
11. I have the capacity to make others feel good and loved.
12. God has a purpose for giving me life.
13. I am capable of doing good work.
14. I must try to practice what Jesus always taught: Show mercy to your enemies and forgive them for hurting you.
15. Every day is a new day. People may remember my past mistakes and embarrassments but the important thing is to stay strong, be honest, stay close to God and DO MY BEST!

Hey...That feels soooo good. I actually felt my anger and hurt being less significant. I guess that is the honest road to recovery! I am lorrainekid and it's not good to evr hold grudges so I'm letting it go.

Anyway, its already the BER months are here. It's already the fifth day of September! This season brings on kindred loving spirits and a treasure of past and future good memories! Also, it's the seventh day of the US Open Tennis Grandslams! I wish my favorite player Nadal the very best. I hope he and Federer will battle it out in the finals!!!

Yup! I started my post rather negatively and sadly but now I am ending it with a happy, enlightened note! Thanks everyone and please wait for my upcoming book review! God bless and keep the faith!!!

It's me----lorrainekid :o)

My Self Projects

Hello! 'Sup everyone? Anyway, I'm writing my entry rather late. There really is nothing new about me except that I have been trying to feel really good about myself lately. I have been trying to pamper myself these past few weeks. By pampering, I don't mean that I splurge, I never actually do that. However I had my hair fixed and a physical problem removed. I hate to speak in vague terms but I don't want to be very specific, see.

Why am I sharing all these? Well, It seems to me that once in a while a person needs to feel cared for. I recently bought myself a music player that I love. It's a gift I give to myself, kind of a reward for everything. Mind you, I have a lot more people to give something else to and my imaginary list is prioritized.

The next thing I wanna share is my plan to watch the Broadway musical, Cats. Gosh, I love cats, and i mean the animal itself. It must be fun and it may feel really artsy ,like to really watch it live. I hope I can persuade my friend and we'll have time for it.

Another thing, I remember posting before that I will be posting my very first Thomas Nelson Book Review. Well, sadly that never materialized. Lazy me, I had another thing going. Well, I am again saying that I will soon post it. I will, that's for certain.

Well, so much for rambling. Life's good everyone, let's all live it!

I Am Who I Am

This is weird, but I just thought of giving myself some kind of an introduction. In this world, it is easy to be misunderstood, and between me and the readers of this blog, I guess it's kind of therapeutic to just share who I truly am.

Well here goes:

I am generally a nice and kind person but I can tell when someone is taking advantage of me.

I am not snobbish, but yes, I can be introverted.
I am irritated by people who act like they are above everyone else. I can usually tell who this people are even when they try to appear nice and friendly.
I DISLIKE snobbish people. Being a snob is a sign that you have bad manners.
I love books and my greatest goal is to be a successful novelist.
Some people think I am weird, I think of myself as unique.
I am not girly and I hate how some girls tend to be so hypocritical when it comes to other girls.
I love eating and I love fastfood.
I'm a kid, forever and ever.
I try to accomplish things but I do not broadcast my achievements.
I have a cat and his name is NIDO.
I love being at home with my family.
I believe God has a great plan for me!

There! I said it! I can tell you, IT feels GOOD! It makes me feel stronger. Maybe I'll add to this list soon!

PS: Congratulations to Rafa on his 2nd Wimbledon title. About that Wimbledon widget, well I can't figure out how to get the code, anyway it doesn't matter.

Have a good life everyone!

Bits of Fun In A Normal Day

This is one of those days when I just feel happy to post a blog entry. I woke up rather late this morning and found our TV tuned in to The NBA finals: Lakers vs Celtics. Well, I'm not fond of watching basketball, but lately, I've been hearing a lot of people talking excitedly about this match. It was all so exciting; the game score ended so closely and the two teams were alternately overdoing each other towards the end. I LOVE this feeling of excitement! It's when you watch something and you feel so immersed into it that you forget everything else!

Anyway, I'm looking forward to another sport event: Wimbledon. This grandslam will be on from June 21- July 4. Last year, so many fans (including me) were frustrated because of Nadal's absence. This year it's more positive he will be there. I'd like to see another championship between him and Federer. I guess that's what many others are dreaming of too! It's a joy and a relief that I won't have to scour for free live streams over the internet because Starsports will have a full Wimbledon coverage. I'm crossing my fingers that Rafa will remain injury free for Wimbledon. I've read that for this reason, he's actually resting and relaxing at the moment. That's a wise move Rafa!

Moving on to another topic, I'd like to share that I feel a bit more knowledgeable about my work. I have posted before that I feel so stressed and pressured about it. Actually, I still feel like that usually and I won't deny it. Maybe some of you are actually wondering where I may be working. Well, here's to a revelation: I work at a hospital. I do not plan to go into details about it but I tell you, it's a pretty pressured environment to get into. However, I'm managing and trying to keep my life balanced in all other aspects. It's a joy that life has so many things to offer and that all these challenges I'm facing are just part of life's bigger picture.

Finding joy in even the smallest things is a trait I would like to develop. It is essential in order to live a happy, fulfilling life. Isn't that the kind of life we'd all like to have?

Till my next post everyone!
PS: See my Wimbledon IBM widget!

My 2010 French Open Statement

Hey! I just want to say, and I'll say this fast: Go Rafael Nadal! Yes I do hope Rafa wins the French Open. It's 10 pm now and I know I have to go to sleep. Yet, I'm still watching internet live streams. Unlike last year, I haven't placed any widget of the Roland Garros tournament on my blog. Anyway, this post ought to do it for me, just a litte something to prove that i haven't forgotten the fun of tennis.

So there, I won't be able to finish this off till the end (end of the tonight's final , that is). I hope to wake up to a really good news tomorrow. I have to say though, even if I'm rooting for Nadal, that Soderling has been really admirable. I mean, he's GOT what it takes to really be on the top, right? He's beaten Nadal last year and now that he's secured a place at the final, he's proven that it wasn't all just luck that made things work for him last year.

I do wish I'm now in Paris watching at court Philip Chatrier. Anyway, I pray for a fair game and the best of conditions for both players to play their best tennis!

Go Nadz!!! I know that after tonight's fight, you'll be number one again. Go get that fifth Roland Garros title!

This Blog Ain't Dead!

Yes! Writing this entry actually makes me feel resurrected! It's been months since my last post! I haven't got much to share but looking back, it's amazing to realize how many changes have occurred just within the days I haven't written.

Well, let's talk about life, my life to be exact. Hahaha... Well, I'm not exactly a rock that sits all day oblivious of everything, but hey who says rocks are that lifeless and boring? Don't they have mosses and molds and all that green stuff growing on them after a while?

Alright before YOU, yes you, my patient reader thinks I'm some kind of mind wandering, totally crazy person, I have to clear that my musings actually follow a train of reason. What I mean is no matter how much you try to keep yourself safe and grounded, that is, no matter how hard you try to remain within your comfort zone, life will still manage to continually surprise, er.. strike or even stun you!

Well, lately with the kind of work environment I'm in (clue: it smells of alcohol and a thing they call sterilium) I have been feeling like a human fired off a cannon. Funny? Oh yes!!! I mean, my work is becoming so much of a challenge to both my mind and my nerves and many times I just swallow my fear and I try to function as best as I can.

Isn't life like that? Sometimes we encounter a situation that makes us long to just run away. Our fears and worries bring us images of a soft, warm bed and a coaxing mother or a bowl of hot soup to go with some other comfort food. We just need to feel SAFE, like nothing can harm us. Oh yes, it feels nice to have no more responsibilities!

Anyway, I'm still very much alive! Yes, I'm a survivor! Yet, I must admit that it is very tiring to think of having to survive each day...

Wait! I do not want anybody to form an idea that I'm living miserably. It's just all these changes and my struggle to live my own kind of life; to know my purpose and direction while trying to function effectively day after day.

WE RAISE TO GOD: Life and Death



I could never end today's blog entry without mentioning that the mother of some very close people to me died yesterday.

"She was old and fragile, very thin, with only her bones to feel under her wrinkled skin.Many times her mind failed her; all those names and details and even the simplest things of everyday, oh yes, she was too old to remember. Yet she was a mother. And who, for that faithful loving word and title that says it all could question the grief and sorrow that we all fail to communicate and understand?"

So I say that to God we raise all these issues and feelings. Only He truly understands. Only He truly cares and only He can make everything alright. He can reach our loved ones in that dimension where we are all clueless and powerless. He keeps them safe there, this I know. God has a special place for everyone. Far from the toils, hardships, hunger and self- pity that we experience in this world, that loving place that God keeps for us is waiting."

Jesus is the resurrection and the life. Those who died even if they died will live! Oh yes Jesus! In YOU we put our hope, faith and trust!

To God be eternal glory! We love YOU Jesus!

My blog entry is dedicated to the life and soul, rest and happiness of Bella Polido.

My Life In His Hands

Hi! Well, yet again I'm starting my post rather awkwardly. I have been posting quite irregularly and I must admit the big gaps here in my blog does not look good. Well, it's no serious thing. One of the things I love about blogging is it generates no pressure to meet deadlines and I don't feel obliged to please anyone in particular.

Okay, I started this entry somehow apathetically and now I'm returning back to my usual self. Whew!!! I admit I do feel tired because of the work I've been doing for days now. I will not go into details but I do thank You God for giving me this time off. It's like I can feel the blood on my legs again, literally and figuratively!

For me, Lorrainekid, this week has been tough. How does life throw its surprises and how does it manage to hit just the right people? It seems to me that God is giving me a chance to view life from a wider but a more beautiful perspective.

Okay, I know I'm speaking very vaguely. It's just that I feel many things in my life are out of sync right now. Its the work that I do, the place that I go to, the people I meet and all their hefty expectations that make me sad and somehow weigh me down. This week, life and death became personal issues for me. It visited someone I wished I've known a lot better and it made me more aware of my own guilt and weaknesses.

Writing now, I am reminded that I have to be positive. I need to take a breath of fresh air so as to clear my perspectives. Suddenly, I realized I am here for a reason. Yes, I am alive because God has a purpose for me. I don't exactly know what it is, but I sure know its not something that involves complacency, negativism, worrying, inferiority and even sadness.

I love being alive and I love the God that gives me life!!! You know what? If there's one good thing that came as a result of my wanderings, it is that I've come to depend on God more. In Jesus I found my BEST FRIEND!

Recently, we've all seen tragedy after tragedy occur all over the world. The earthquake in Haiti and then in Chile made me think of how variable our existence is! Just think of all the asteroids and floating mass in space. Any second our earth could be hit! How then are we kept safe/ There must be SOMEONE out there, a GOD who created the heavens and all things known and yet to be known who cares for us all! There is God, the One and Only, and He loves me and you more than we'll ever know!!!

I feel myself smiling!!! Isn't life nice and beautiful?! Oh well my hope and faith will sustain me. God bless and till my next post!

HAPPY 2010 TO YOU!!!

Hello! I think this has been the longest gap in my posting history! I admit the holidays got into me! Well, so many things have happened that I haven't shared here in my blog. First, Christmas and New Year. Well, I haven't posted much on those 2 grand occasions but everything has been swell and fun! I got to spend most of the holidays with my family and my most fervent wish is that I get to do the same this year. Another thing: Birthdays! Yes, I just celebrated my birthday last January 27! before that, a few of my precious family members celebrated theirs too, so I can say that January is birthday month for the whole of my family as well.

Honestly, the past year has been tough on me in so many aspects. This year I want to be more positive and I want to accomplish more. I do not want to ramble much so here's a short list of my goals for this year:

1. Write and complete my novel.
2. Post more book reviews here on my blog ( I still haven't posted my first review as a Thomas Nelson Book Reviewer so that's first on the list!- watch out for it!- I'm reviewing Fresh Start by Doug Fields).
3. Read more books and watch more movies.
4. Find a part- time writing job.
5. Live a well- balanced life with a more positive outlook and attitude.
6. Love my family (and people) more and do good things for them all!

Lastly:
Spend more time with God, Jesus, my Savior and my best friend!

So what do you all say? I do hope you are all with me on these! For you, who's reading this: thanks and I do pray for your dreams as well!

I really need all of your prayers! Times are just really tough. I believe in the power of prayers and I know that if we all pray for each othet, life will get a lot easier!

Another thing, I have yet to update my blog layout. I guess Christmas should stay all year long! But anyway, I hope to have a new, fun and cool layout soon so watch out!!!

PS: Let's all pray for each other and our brothers and sisters in Haiti.
It's the month of LOVE!!!

GOD BLESS!